Fake Shitz

                                                


                                                 These shitz will not help you looz weight.

Listen, I'm with you. I would like nothing more then to believe with all my heart that some botox injected venice beach whore with fist-sized tits was going to provide both a jarringly erotic set of jerkoff sessions and help you burn off those extra binge-drinkings. But guess what? If all wishes came true, then I probably would have beaten that date rape charge, wouldn't I? And instead I spent 21 months in county doing "sniffing accounts" for a Dominican named Rico "Husky" Martinez.

WEEKLY WEIGH IN: -15 POUNDS
DISTANCE 2 FUCKING WEIGHT: 135 POUNDS